“Getting a tattoo” had been on my list of things to do for years, but the list was really just a forgotten document on my computer. After David passed away, I decided it was time to revisit—and schedule—those someday plans. 

First up was that tattoo. In the past, my son Nick and I had talked about getting inked, but we weren’t quite sure what to get. Now, we knew exactly what we wanted. 

Otters hold a special meaning in my family. When I was pregnant with Nick, one of the tests came back with an elevated risk for a genetic condition. I was scared and called my dad, who always had an ability to cut through noise and center me. He told me, “Steff, that baby’s going to be fine.” I said, “How do you know?” He said, “Because we’re otters. We swim through life.” 

Sure enough, Nick was fine, and for Father’s Day, I got my dad a little garden statue of an otter. Since then, whenever anything scary happens, we would say to each other, “Remember, we’re otters.” 

The night David was diagnosed, I went home. Lying in bed, I didn’t know how we were going to get through this. To take my mind off the reality, I mindlessly scrolled through Instagram. A suggested post was on my feed, with a video of an aquarium habitat where you can hold hands with otters. 

I was stunned. I hadn’t thought about otters in a long time. I hadn’t talked about them, Googled them, or done anything where technology could have created a connection. When I told my sister, she was sure it was a sign from our mom, who died earlier that month. “It’s something only you would know, and she knew you’d recognize it,” she said.

After that, otters started appearing everywhere. My family and I saw otters in ads for stuffed animals, on artwork in an Air BnB, and on friends’ Facebook posts. We even saw OTTER5 on a license plate. 

Nick and I booked our tattoo appointments. An otter now floats on my ankle holding the type of flower that was in my wedding bouquet. For Nick, a pair of otters play on his arm. The images remind us both to swim through what life delivers and keep going.